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sid desquid

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(no subject) [Jul. 23rd, 2009|08:27 pm]
sid desquid
si je donnais à u une fleur pour chaque fois I considéré u… vous marcheriez dans un sans fin faites du jardinage de mon adoration
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Beer Vs Pussy [Jul. 5th, 2008|02:56 am]
sid desquid
It is time to do a comparison between two things treasured by men, beer and pussy...

A beer is always wet.
A pussy needs encouragement.
Advantage: Beer.

A beer tastes horrible served hot.
A pussy tastes better served hot.
Advantage: Pussy.

Having an ice cold beer makes you satisfied.
Having an ice cold pussy makes you Hillary Clinton.
Advantage: Beer.

Beers have commercials making fun of skunky ones.
Pussy does not.
advantage: Tie

If you get a hair in your teeth
consuming pussy, you are not disgusted.
Advantage: Pussy

24 beers come in a box.
A pussy is a box you can come in.
Advantage: Pussy

Too much head makes you mad at the
person giving you a beer.
Advantage: Pussy.

If a beer is brewed with yeast, it is
still edible.
Advantage: Beer.

If you come home smelling like beer,
your wife may get mad. If you come home
smelling like pussy, she will definitely get mad.
Advantage: Beer.

6 beers in a night and you better not
drive. 6 pussies in a night and you
have done all the driving you need.
Advantage: Pussy

Buy too much beer and you will get fat.
Buy too much pussy and you will get poor.
Advantage: Tie

It is socially acceptable to have a beer in the stands at a football game.
You are a legend if you have a pussy in the stands at a football game.
Advantage: Pussy

If a cop smells beer on your breath,
you are going to get a breathalyzer.
If a cop smells pussy on your breath,
you are going to get a high five.
Advantage: Pussy

With beer, bigger is better.
Advantage: beer.

Wearing a condom does not make a beer
any less enjoyable.
Advantage: beer.

Pussy can make you see God. Beer can
make you see the porcelain god.
Advantage: Pussy

If you think all day about the next pussy
you will have, you are normal.
If you think all day about your next beer,
you are an alcoholic.
Advantage: Pussy

Peeling labels off of beers is fun.
Peeling panties off of pussy is more fun.
Advantage: Pussy.

If you try to snag a beer at work,
you get fired. If you try to snag a pussy
at work, you get hit with sexual harassment.
Advantage: Tie

If you suddenly drop a beer, it may
break. If you suddenly drop a pussy,
it may hunt you down like the dog you are.
Advantage: Beer.

If you change to another beer, your
old brand will gladly have you back.
Advantage: Beer.

The best pussy you have ever had is
not gone once you have enjoyed it.
Advantage: Pussy.

The worst pussy you have ever had is
not gone once you have enjoyed it.
Advantage: Beer.

Bad beer: Schlitz, PBR, Old Swill.
Bad pussy: Roseanne, Janet Reno, Madeline Albright.
Advantage: Tie

Good beer: Samuel Adams, Moosehead,
Pete's Wicked Winter Brew.
Good pussy: Almost all but the above.
Advantage Pussy.

The government taxes beer.
Advantage: Pussy.
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(no subject) [Apr. 20th, 2008|10:54 pm]
sid desquid
 66 weeks since i last posted , whoa that doesn't seem that long but poof time is gone .Happy 420 evrybody may life bring you roses without the pricks
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Awwwwwww [Jan. 11th, 2007|05:39 am]
sid desquid
[mood |crushedcrushed]

Sadly Lilly Munster Passed Away ..She was 84 and quite a prolific actor beyond the munsters.But she still made a cool Lilly..


http://edition.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/TV/01/10/obit.decarlo.ap/index.html
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re challange [Jan. 9th, 2007|02:26 am]
sid desquid
[mood |cheerfulcheerful]

Ok so i was challenged to come up with top 5 songs i remember from when i was a kid

5 dead kennedys : too drunk to fuck
4 Black Flag ; slip it in
3 skinny Puppy ; First aid
2circle JeRkS  ; Killing fer jesus
1Celtic Frost : Danse macabre
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All i want for christmass ..... [Dec. 14th, 2006|02:02 pm]
sid desquid
[mood |creative]

Well holy shit ,its almost christmass.Not like im a christian ,but i do like this whole giveing and being tolerant of each other.Well at this wonderful time of the year the major companies all release new shit.Well this is the shit

Now this is the basic one damn it looks good and is fed from clip but u can get a hopper attachment.

Now this is there pro version its got a few bells and whistles.

They just keep getting better with more cool shit.

Now damn this actually comes with all accesories shown .Talk about crazy eh

Now this is the shit all the markers i have shown so far all come apart and can be broken down to just a pistol.Man its like finally they made a marker that doesn't look like its trying to be cool it is.Well if this is a sign of where paintball is going then the future looks bright .

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re [Dec. 7th, 2006|01:52 pm]
sid desquid
[Current Location |Home]
[mood |chipperchipper]
[music |Dead kennedys]

So i have come to the conclusion that the world is fucked.See after a string of not so successful relationships i just decided to give up dateing.Little did i know that as soon as you actually do this it seems out of the wood work all these potential girl friend s appear.i Am quite aware that there is a drive in both sexes to try to get what they can't have .But i didn't realize that it would be like catnip.I mean im not trying to sound egotistical(little late now huh).It just seems that we as humans got it all back wards. See when i m interested in companionship it seems really hard to meet people, or everyone you meet is not single ect.The second you decide that you like your own company better then others it must give off this aloof sense of confidence or something that makes the kittys go meow.This also happens when im with a partner but i just always chalked that up to if i have a partner i don't flirt with others .I as well have to take in to the factor of the mateing frenzy that happens in the fall as no one wants to be alone over the holidays.This same frenzy happens around valentines day for that same reason ...stupid hallmark...Its not that i have given up on dateing forever i just came to the point that i just need to sort it all out .See i relize im a serial monogamist. I go from relationship to relationship not really giving myself a chance to just be free.Its not like all my relationships ever take on a particular pattern that i can say oh hey thats where i went wrong .Well other then the fact i seemed to go out with girls that were all bad for me just to satisfy my fear of commitment.I figured the worse they are for me the more sure i am it won't last.I mean i didn't think all this out consciously its just the way it turned out .I didn't just go for the bad ones i tried a few i think there perfect for me girls .But they all went wrong otherwise i would still be in them .I take solice in the fact that most of my exes are still my friends except for that smalll handfulll that i almost want to get restraining orders against.I guess i have to relize that in a way like most people i have commitmentaphobia .I guess at a certain point u start asking yerself the question can i see myself spending the rest of my life with this person ? And somehow it all starts to go downhill after that.Maybe an unconscious self sabotage.I take pride in the fact i have never cheated on any of my partners, i mean i wouldn't say i did it just for them i guess i just like that higher ground .Or maybe i just don't like bombs like that to go off in my face later when im not expecting it.(geee why did i get these tickets to jerry springer in the mail) I have definately become more cynical but the older i get the cyniczm isnt a dark place anymore , i guess when you accept the futility of it alll life becomes a funny light place.The big factor that has really turned me off of dateing is the bar scene. The bar scene in this city is prolly like most citys in the fact u can find the same people at the same bars year after year but they have all paired off with different people.I mean the ones you see going through the most partners well there just the most commitmentaphobic of the bunch.Then theres the tourists ,you know the ones that come in from subsurbia thinking the whole scene is cool and how nice it is to be not judged like in the subburbs...How wrong they can be .But i would rather a toursit in the bar scene then a resident i supose.There not as cynical as the residents.I guess the residents have a reason to be more cynical then the tourists.They don't know about all the low self esteem wanna be hustlers who  read those books on neural linguistic programming and studied phych just to get into there insecure  brains enough to say just the right thing to get into there pants and then blow them off like they were a pit stop on a road trip.I mean its both with men and women, i just seem to get exposed to the guy angle of it more often then not.It seems that if you had a bad time in high school getting dates then u make up for it in your twenties by exploiting all the girls you can find to try to satify this desire to prove yur worthy.It just seems to be a bottomless pit that will never be satisfied.And all the  women i have encountered that will use there feminine wiles to see what they can get men to give them in return for there exploiting them selves .i mean usually there very jaded about what men have done to them before and i guess its there way of protecting them selves.Its running into this type of woman too much that has really turned me cynical.Lets face it they don't call it the war of the sexes cuz people play fair .I can't blame women for them exploiting them selves because if men weren't such a receptive audience it wouldn't happen .Its just the futility of so many of these paths in life that people are takeing will lead them nowhere .I have walked too many a path that has lead me nowhere thats why i have just stopped to read my map to try to find a path that goes somewhere.

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re [Oct. 14th, 2006|06:37 am]
sid desquid
[mood |crazycrazy]

Quote of the day

I would rather listen to a thousand American Idol rejects screeching out the lyrics to whichever mediocre song they decide to butcher simutaniously at 190 decibles for 24 consecutive hours whilst someone released a family of rabid badgers suffed with dynamite loose in my pants

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(no subject) [Oct. 14th, 2006|02:46 am]
sid desquid
[mood |crazycrazy]

If people like me named movies, the titles would be a lot more discriptive of the actual movie. None of this artsy fartsy crap where you have no idea what the movie is about. So here are some suggestions of what some movies should have been named.......(I stole them from SomethingAwful.com, please dont sue me!)

Twister should have been....

The Perfect Storm? More like....

Gone In Sixty Seconds? Then why did the movie last more than an hour? They should have just called it .......

A more accurate title for A Beautiful Mind....

If Chuck Norris worked for Disney then Delta Force would have been......

Yes, I have to rip on the gay cowboy movie too.....

I may have enjoyed Titanc more if it was called....

And finnaly, Lord of the Rings. They should have just looked at the plotline and named it apropriately.....

:) Thats all for now kids.

Later!

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re [Oct. 14th, 2006|02:41 am]
sid desquid
[mood |crazycrazy]

stolen from somebody else
Current mood: creative

I was the best man at the wedding. If I'm the best man, why is she marrying him?

  • It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.

  • What is a date really, but a job interview that lasts all night? The only difference is that in not many job interviews is there a chance you'll wind up naked.

  • You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, "See if you can blow this out."

  • Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.

  • Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them's making a poop, the other one's carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge.

  • Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash.

     
  • There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they don't know. Women do. Women want to learn. Men think, "I know what I'm doing, just show me somebody naked."

  • According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.

  • Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason

  • The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war. Pretty impressive. Also pretty lucky for them. Ever see that little Swiss Army knife they have to fight with? Not much of a weapon there. Corkscrews. Bottle openers. "Come on, buddy, let's go. You get past me, the guy in back of me, he's got a spoon. Back off. I've got the toe clippers right here."

  • Why do people give each other flowers? To celebrate various important occasions, they're killing living creatures? Why restrict it to plants? "Sweetheart, let's make up. Have this deceased squirrel."

  • Why do they call it a "building"? It looks like they're finished. Why isn't it a "built"?

  • People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to 

  • Seems to me the basic conflict between men and women, sexually, is that men are like firemen. To men, sex is an emergency, and no matter what we're doing we can be ready in two minutes. Women, on the other hand, are like fire. They're very exciting, but the conditions have to be exactly right for it to occur.

  • The big advantage of a book is it's very easy to rewind. Close it and you're right back at the beginning.

  • I have a friend who's collecting unemployment insurance. This guy has never worked so hard in his life as he has to keep this thing going. He's down there every week, waiting on the lines and getting interviewed and making up all these lies about looking for jobs. If they had any idea of the effort and energy that he is expending to avoid work, I'm sure they'd give him a raise.

  • To me, a lawyer is basically the person that knows the rules of the country. We're all throwing the dice, playing the game, moving our pieces around the board, but if there is a problem the lawyer is the only person who has read the inside of the top of the box.

  • Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.

  • The idea behind the tuxedo is the woman's point of view that men are all the same; so we might as well dress them that way. That's why a wedding is like the joining together of a beautiful, glowing bride and some guy. The tuxedo is a wedding safety device, created by women because they know that men are undependable. So in case the groom chickens out, everybody just takes one step over, and she marries the next guy.

  • Your parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty, and that's the law.

  • I will never understand why they cook on TV. I can't smell it. Can't eat it. Can't taste it. The end of the show they hold it up to the camera, "Well, here it is. You can't have any. Thanks for watching. Goodbye."

  • Somebody just gave me a shower radio. Thanks a lot. Do you really want music in the shower? I guess there's no better place to dance than a slick surface next to a glass door. 

  • What would the world be like if people said whatever they were thinking, all the time, whenever it came to them? How long would a blind date last? About 13 seconds, I think. "Oh, sorry, your rear end is too big." "That's ok, your breath stinks anyway. See you later."

  • You know what I never get with the limo? The tinted windows. Is that so people don't see you? Yeah, what a better way not to have people notice you than taking a thirty foot Cadillac with a TV antenna and a uniformed driver. How discreet. Nobody cares who's in the limo. You see a limo go by, you know it's either some rich jerk or fifty prom kids with $1.75 each.

  • You can measure distance by time. "How far away is it?" "Oh about 20 minutes." But it doesn't work the other way. "When do you get off work?" "Around 3 miles."

  • Are there keys to a plane? Maybe that's what those delays are sometimes, when you're just sitting there at the gate. Maybe the pilot sits up there in the cockpit going, "Oh, I don't believe this. Dammit..I did it again." They tell you it's something mechanical because they don't want to come on the P.A. system, "Ladies and gentlemen, we're going to be delayed here on the ground for a while. I uh..Oh, God this is so embarrassing...I, I left the keys to the plane in my apartment. They're in this big ashtray by the front door. I'm sorry, I'll run back and get them."

  • I once had a leather jacket that got ruined in the rain. Why does moisture ruin leather? Aren't cows outside a lot of the time? When it's raining, do cows go up to the farmhouse, "Let us in! We're all wearing leather! Open the door! We're going to ruin the whole outfit here!"
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